10 questions for… The Speyside Otter!

 

1. Tell us about yourself.

I’m a semi aquatic carnivorous mammal. I seem to have acquired the derogatory nickname ‘The Speyside Otter’ these days… but my pals call me Tarka.

2. What is your weirdest quirk?

Unlike most of my otter pals, I cannae whack shellfish. Gie’s me the boak so it does, I prefer yer traditional Scottish fayre like mince ‘n’ tatties so I do. Didnae see any o’ they scoundrels at the Speyside Sessions offering me any though did ye? Selfish folk…

3. How did you get involved with the Speyside Sessions?

Well it wasnae like I was asked or anything. I’d been warming masel by the fire for years before those smelly folkies came up and caused such a din! I hadnae much say in the matter!

4. What is your proudest moment ever?

I’ll no deny- like most of these Speyside Session numpties- it has to be the birth of my children. All 45 of them! What can I say? Otter TV is rubbish…

5. What Speyside Session tracks did you perform on?

I wasn’t all that interested in performing on the album, there was so much booze flying aboot that I just took to that like an Otter tae water. I’m more a musical theatre performer you see, so I gave my card to that Nicky Webber to pass onto his faither… needless to say, it’s been a case of “don’t call us, we’ll call you”…

6. What is your favourite track on the album?

If I had tae choose one then it would be the last one. Aye, the very last track on the album- cos then I knew it was all over and I would get some peace and quiet! Don’t think me cold or anything (though before I was stuffed I did spend most of my time swimming in freezing waters so go figure), I mean I know it’s for charity and all that- but it’s no exactly for ‘Save the Otters’ is it?

7. What is your abiding memory from the sessions?

Probably watching all those folk swan at the feet o’ that Kevin McKidd… Kevin McWho if ye ask me.I starred in ‘Ring of Bright Water’ for goodness sake – not a single person asked for my ottergraph!

8. What is your favourite album of all time?

Don’t have any favourite albums as such but I’ve waggled my wee tail along to ‘You Otter Know’ by Alanis Morissette often enough. The late wife and I (bless her unstuffed heart) used to love that song by Old Blue Eyes himself- ‘I Get a Kick Otter You’… always makes me smile.

9. Do you have any regrets?

Not many to tell the truth, I just go on instinct ye know? Animal instinct. Though I regret not asking that wee doll Delane Morrison-Wallace out for a drink to be honest. See her in that mini-skirt? Ooft!

10. Most extravagant thing you’ve ever done (or bought)?

Well like I said, I’m faither to 45 weans, so what’s the most extravagant thing I’ve ever done? Probably when I took the family out for a fish supper. That was just after I did that Harry Potter film, but even then I was struggling. I tell ye: ‘Save the Otters’- that’s the charity ye want tae endorse!

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